CAN I GET COVID-19 if I’m standing next to someone who has it and they cough in my mouth?
Can I get COVID-19 if I’m standing three feet away from someone who has it and they only cough a little?
Can I get COVID-19 if I’m standing six feet away from someone who has it and there’s no coughing?
Is this like when I would play “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you” while putting my finger half an inch away from my brother’s eyeball? So, if I’m standing five feet, eleven inches away from someone, I can get COVID-19, but if I’m standing six feet away, I’m safe?
Do these social-distancing rules still apply if I’m just standing in the checkout line at Whole Foods?
How about if I’m at the beach?
OK, maybe not the beach. At the park?
Can I get COVID-19 from a dog?
Can I get COVID-19 from food?
Should I wash my lettuce with soap?
How about Lysol?
Can I get COVID-19 from groceries, takeout food, or the mail?
Can I get COVID-19 even if I wash my hands with really hot water for ten seconds?
But does any of this really make a difference?
Really, though? Even if I’m just one person and I feel fine?
Is it really that big a deal if you’re relatively healthy?
Isn’t it just like getting the flu?
At least we have an awesome healthcare system to protect us, right?
Is this healthcare crisis bad for everyone?
Could the cure be worse than the disease?
Well, thank god for capitalism, at least.
Well, the socialists never did anything to protect us from total financial collapse, amirite?
‘Merica is still the No. 1 country in the world, though, amirite?
Should I listen to what the president says about the coronavirus?
Should I listen to what Fox News says about the coronavirus?
Was there anything we could’ve done to stop this from getting so bad?
But aside from that, anything? Anything at all?
But, seriously, no one could have predicted this, right?
Is the president getting the very best scientific and medical advice he can find?
Did we ever find out what happened with Hillary’s emails?